So, They Tried to Give Me an Award Once …

And so, phase four of my 12-step, foolproof plan for world domination commences.  Wait … is it four or five? … lemme think … start podcast … convert basement into radio and performance studio … get Pluto reclassified as dwarf planetoid … obtain mannequin … gain notoriety as a cultural visionary, thereby obtaining a crystal hockey puck … yeah, phase five!

Yes, it was an honor and a singularly weird experience getting an award from an organization that, while certainly not your enemy, never really had a kind word to say about you in public, and made more than a few snarky quips in private (yeah, the feeling is mutual, so no foul).  Maybe it’s not as weird and experience as getting roasted by my friends last month was, but it was weird.  It was also very cool that NUVO thought of me, considering our long and tumultuous history of publicly ignoring each other, and privately bitching about each other, for the past decade.

A rare gathering of most of the Indy In-Tune entourage. Some of whom had never actually met each other before that evening.

The mighty women of Indy In-Tune: Mia Kileen (host of The Rock Show) and Amy Foxworthy (blog editrix)

Overheard at THIS cocktail reception: “So, what did you do?” “Well, I gave my entire crop from the family farm to a homeless shelter and went broke …” “I turned my home into a shelter for battered Syrian refugee women …” “I’ve been telling dick and fart jokes in my basement for a decade now!”

To me, one of the most curious things about this piece is its wonderful afunctionalism.  Divorced from its function and seen purely as a piece of art, its structure of line and colour is curiously counterpointed by the redundant vestiges of its function. And since it has no call to be here, the art lies in the fact that it is here. Exquisite. Absolutely exquisite.

Quick pose with NUVO Music Editor Kat Coplen

Kat Coplen, who I’m pretty sure would never be accused of being my biggest fan, did the presentation, with my crew whooping and screaming after every sentence (I’m pretty sure we were the only group that did that, but whatever, I did apologize in advance, and this will teach them to ever try to give a legitimate culture award to a bunch of people who go to great lengths to remain amateur and underground.) You can actually catch a video of the whole thing here.

What? You didn’t think I was going to be the center of attention SOBER, did you?

The cool thing about the crystal hockey puck is that you can’t actually see or photograph it most of the time. It’s like the Predator, without the creepy noise.

Funny enough, I had just the right about of alcohol in me to maintain calm, until MP asked why I wasn’t climbing the walls right now … at which point I started freaking out.

In the end, if we proved anything, we proved NUVO was probably justified in their ten-year-long cold war feud with Indy In-Tune.