Okay, they’re at it again. You’ll remember a few weeks ago I was getting approached by “June” at IBM, who was in reality actress Anna Florentini. Well, apparently whatever secret government project that failed to snare me with that trap has now upped their game with a new model. In the middle of the night last night, I got an almost identical request from “Michelle” at Acosta. Now, Michelle is a slightly improved model. She actually has a full background and a work history, which arguably if I wasn’t so paranoid now, and if Michelle hadn’t ALSO used all caps for her first name, I would have allayed my suspicions that she’s a Voight Kampff flunkie. Unfortunately for them, I quickly identified MICHELLE as an iStock photo model I once had a boring Match.com lunch date with.
Seriously, what is the nefarious purpose behind all of these fake profiles? Even with the extra effort in the profile, they’re still less convincing than a Mall Santa. Who are you people? Ex-girlfriends? Nigerian 419 scammers? Corporate spies? Government recruiters looking for people who can spot fake profiles? I will get to the bottom of this eventually, you hear me?!