I grew up with one of those grandmothers who insisted if I made a face, it would stick that way. She also said things like, “save yourself for marriage, it will be so much better than sowing your wild oats,” and “never put anything in your ear.”

I can now categorically say that my beloved grandmother was full of it! Like, everything that came out of that woman’s mouth was a bold-faced lie!

Now, not only can I purchase a device SPECIFICALLY MADE for sticking in my ear, but it also comes with a variety of attachments that, quite frankly, look like medieval torture devices. Does it say ANYWHERE in the instruction manual not to stick anything in your ear? No! It actually does say something about not putting things in your ear when there are moving people or animals around, don’t put things in your ear in a moving car, and generally making sure your body is stable when you stick things in your ear. This is just sound advice, really.

Okay, so if that’s not weird enough, the device also has wifi capability and a camera. You know, so I can look at whatever is stuck in my ear and decide if I want to pick it out or not. Seems sensible.

The ability to take a picture OR a video seems odd, but I suppose there are times when you want to email a friend … or maybe a medical professional … and ask them, “Hey, should I pick this thing out of my ear, or is that SUPPOSED to be in there?” Okay, also sensible.

However, the fact that the picture and video gallery on the app also features a SHARE button (dead serious here) allowing you to upload videos of yourself cleaning crap out of your ear canal to Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, etc.?! Okay, THERE’S where we crossed the line from “sensible” to “oh, why the hell not!?”

Enjoy dear reader.